Jesus Loved Winners... Right?
Against Achievement In A Season of Awards
Dear Friends,
The other day my mother texted me two photos to let me know what is going on “back home” (aka in Florida where they moved well after I’d left home for my adult life):
1. My youngest sister in her prom dress
2. My middle sister in her college graduation cap and gown.
I’d only just recalled the day before that this was the season my family was in while talking to parents at a Godly Play program. We aren’t a family that is built to share in these rites of passage the way many others are because my siblings and I are so far apart in age. The last time we were in a full-fledged season of this, when more than one of us was having a landmark year, was probably in 2012 when I graduated from college and my middle sister graduated from 5th grade, moving up to the middle school a mile down the road.
Indeed, even this “season” is engineered in a way; the youngest finished high school in January via her online schooling program and was attending a friend’s prom. The elder took a gap year before college when the rest of my family moved to Florida. Still, here we are, presumably alongside many of you.
This is the time of year when everyone is supposed to be celebrating achievements, and if that’s true for your family, congratulations.
And if that’s not true for your family, if things don’t seem to be going well or those achievements don’t seem big enough, it’s okay. Maybe what is a bis achievement in your house seems out of step to the rest of the world. Bless it all, anyway.
As Kate Bowler noted in her appearance on Rainn Wilson’s Soul Boom, “Jesus only loved winners, right? Famously the opposite.” Our suffering or sadness may not be a sign of our chosen-ness, but Jesus is still with us in that part of the story - maybe even more than in the other parts.
Against Achievement
Of course, maybe you’re not in a season of thinking about achievement. Or at least not in a way that is especially important to the wider community the way parents exchange notes on college acceptances and student awards and sports trophies. Certainly my life doesn’t look the way I would expect or maybe hope in my mid-30s. It’s better (I’m not only alive, but married and happy – seems like the stuff that counts) and it’s worse (no PhD, no book, no kids, not publishing my poetry regularly, not in great physical shape because of significant physical illness). I’m good at a lot of thing but not great at them (crocheting, cross stitch, making lace and collages and cute greeting cards, building websites).
Right now, I am in a season of saying no, of not doing things, of not applying for things – I am in a season of treading water, and that’s okay for me. I am allowing for the distinction between intentions and attachments, as Arthur Brooks writes about in the Atlantic in his recent article, “What Monastic Mystics Got Right About Life” (gift link). It’s a brief article (and one you can listen to a recording of) with a lot of good stuff going on.
What intention rather than attachment has me doing is moving slowly but with meaning. I sharpened the colored pencils because I noticed the ones at the table at the back of the nave had all gone dull. I’m thinking about the careful work of program evaluation. What did we accomplish this year? What worked? What didn’t? What will be do next and how?
But maybe you are in a time when you’re stretching yourself. When you have the energy to move past living with intention and pushing for more substantial goals. You might be interested in:
Quick Wins funding from Columbia Theological Seminary! These are $1000 grants made possible by the Lilly Foundation’s program funding practices for engaging children in worship and prayer. You can learn more about their Wonder of Worship program here, and get a rundown on the Quick Wins grants here.
Some of my favorite and most inspiring colleagues are the ones who have wide-ranging training backgrounds – the ones who are Godly Players with a background in Catechesis of the Good Shepherd or managed to take a Young Children & Worship training once upon a time. I think this approach speaks to me in the same way that research shows that learning about other faith traditions can strengthen your own beliefs.
My point here is that, as someone who works within the framework of play, I’m so curious about Life Is Good’s Playmaker Project. The internet has really been pushing this curious program to me, which focuses on the intersection of play and traumatic experiences and how to use play to support children through an early childhood education lens. Maybe this is something that could support your work! (And if you’ve done it, I’d LOVE to hear what you thought!)Maybe your capacity for more looks like signing up for a retreat or a course to enhance your spiritual life. I loved my once-upon-a-time Education for Ministry (EfM) back when I lived in Atlanta, but Sacred Ordinary Days has everything from very budget friendly spiritual practice pop-ups to major courses on things like creating a rule of life. Maybe you’ll join a local centering prayer group or pick up a set of Cobbleworks Examen cards to integrate into your daily life.
With summer break upon us, if you have kids, you’re probably with me in terms of living into intention rather than attachment – you just want to keep them alive and vaguely entertained and maybe make a few good memories with your summer. Or maybe you’ve got a better way to live into the intention of it all alongside your kids.
Wherever you are, achievement and striving or just getting by, it’s all okay. It’s all more than okay,
It’s blessed,
Peace,
Bird