Dear Friends,
I got to see my brother- and sister-in-law’s wedding pictures this weekend! They got married this past September and one thing my wife and I joked about was that we generally had no idea what was going on in advance. We, to no one’s surprise, had a prayer book wedding. Our cousin and one of my sister’s did the readings. The priest was a friend whose children had been in my Godly Play class. We had small but clearly defined wedding parties - our siblings and very closest college friends - with their particular outfits. It was DIY traditional. It was also a morning wedding and, as an individual, I tend to operate to the minute.
My sib-in-laws’ wedding, on the other hand, certainly looked more like the wedding photos you see in magazines and online (though we did make the cut at OffBeatBride, back in the day). We attempted to make heads or tails of their joyful day and, as the afternoon of a very hot Maine Saturday wore on, we waited for them to make their way back to the schedule as family and friends milled around working on last minute details. Though the definition of wedding party for this wedding was basically “immediate family,” I will say, I make for a very timely bridesmaid.
This Sunday we’ll hear the Parable of the Foolish Bridesmaids. Awaiting the bridegrooms, the women grow tired, dozing, until word comes that it’s time! Unfortunately, only some have brought oil for their lamps and it is now late, the lamps must be lit! Whatever will they do?
The unfortunate thing about this parable is that it suggests that a single light cannot guide more than one person. Of course, parables are not literal. They are not of this world. Our rules don’t necessarily apply. In Godly Play we tell parables flat, as it were, to indicate that they aren’t “real.” As texts meant to help us understand the Kingdom of Heaven and Eternal Life, they exist in a world of their own.
The Work Of Preparation
It seems fitting that this is the Gospel text for this Sunday for a few reasons. First, for most of us, we’ve truly entered the deep season of darkness with the end of Daylight Savings and early sunsets. Personally, I’m a fan – I go to bed early and I don’t enjoy fighting the sun – but I know many people dread this season. It can take special preparation to be ready for this added darkness, this night that the bridesmaids awake into when it is finally time to meet the bridegroom. And, in the seasons of the life of the church, we are in what might be considered a season of preparing to prepare. We are in the final weeks before Advent. I wonder how you are preparing? Since we still have some
Seasonal Books:
‘Twas The Season of Advent by Glenys Nellist is an instant classic and a wonderful devotional precursor to the first book in this series, ‘Twas The Evening of Christmas. I’ll be using ‘Twas The Evening of Christmas as a Storywalk with my Parish and a blessing that I hope will engage our local community, especially since we’re in a central location. (And don’t forget to visit Glenys’s website because she always had great activity packs to go with her books!)
Storywalks are great for this special season. If you’ve never put one together, there are some great resources on BuildingFaith and BookRiot.Another standard bearer for Advent is Laura Alary’s Look! A Child’s Guide to Advent & Christmas. I really appreciate that this book mixes a more observational take on the Advent season with devotional practice highlights that might inspire your family or community to try something new. I’m feeling a real draw towards working on Jesse Tree ornaments this year, a practice that appears in this book.
Now for a newcomer to the seasonal books! Kaitlin Curtice has a new children’s book out called Winter’s Gifts: An Indigenous Celebration Of Nature. I’m really excited about this new addition, which is also deeply interwoven with ideas of waiting and preparation.
A Thanksgiving Interlude
We are fortunate to have learned so much from our Indigenous neighbors about the harms of colonization and what is referred to as the National Day of Mourning, commonly called Thanksgiving. While many of us will still gather for meals with families and friends, we can do this alongside care and gratitude and our own efforts to center Indigenous stories. Among my favorite resources on this front are:
Godly Play Trainer and Lutheran Pastor Sharolyn Swenson Browning has a beautiful, adaptable land acknowledgment written in the style of Godly Play. While you can likely only access this via the Knowing Godly Play in a New Way page, I turn to this particular land acknowledgement because of the way it addresses the sacred nature of the land and our failure to be in covenant with its original caretakers. We’ve used this acknowledgment at trainer gatherings and it feels very different from the conventional way of naming the historic residents of the land whom settlers displaced.
A collection of award winning books from the American Indian Library Association. While many of us have contemporary classics like We Are Water Protectors and Fry Bread in our libraries, there are so many more wonderful books available that tell vital Native stories.
Centering gratitude - there is nothing wrong with a holiday that is fundamentally about gratitude, except that our version of it is rooted in violence and lies about the nature of the abundance that typically marks the day. Returning to authentic gratitude practices can change our relationship to the meaning of Thanksgiving as we know it. We began our return to Morning Grounding with Music That Makes Community this week with this song written by Chanda Rule:
Preparing Together, Including Everyone
We are, logistically speaking, perhaps fortunate to have a late Advent this year, so we will continue to prepare together. But, as a final note for this week, I invite you to consider the great disruptions the holiday season can bring and how dysregulating all of the changes and stress can be. As adults, we are often overwhelmed and struggling to navigate this season.
For those of us who are neurodivergent, and for children of all neurotypes, this season can be even more challenging, which is why I appreciate this article from Spirit & Truth Publishing on Inclusive Holiday Programs. One big take away: much of what we do during the holidays should be additive and separate from the routine. The routine practices can still be the core and can in fact help all of us anchor ourselves in this season. I appreciate, for example, that I inherited an Advent wreath making event that happens in the evening rather than during church school.
And so, my final thought today is that it’s a good time to undertake one of my favorite Traci Smith practices for Advent and Christmas: the “Not-To-Do List.” These are you boundaries, your limits, your de-prioritizing for a season that can demand all of your time. Set yourself free from some of it. Decide in advance the things you will say no to. Let yourself settle into this season of preparation - or this season of preparing for preparing. Light your lamp. Enjoy the light.
Peace,
Bird